NOW SERVING: EVERYBODY

THE EXCUSES DEPARTMENT

Please take a number. Ya excuse will be judged shortly. We've heard 'em all, and ya honor, the defendant is guilty.

EXHIBIT A

"I'm busy."

Everybody's busy. You spent 23 minutes watchin' a guy restore a rusty lawnmower on YouTube. Call ya mutha.

THE FULL DOCKET

Every excuse on file. Find yours. Own it.

CASE №1

"I'm busy."

Everybody's busy. You spent 23 minutes watchin' a guy restore a rusty lawnmower on YouTube. Call ya mutha.

CASE №2

"I don't know what to say."

Say, "Hi." Revolutionary stuff. The rest figures itself out.

CASE №3

"I'll call later."

Later is where good intentions go to become guilt. There is no later. There's now.

CASE №4

"She'll talk too long."

Put on headphones and fold laundry. Congratulations, you invented multitasking.

CASE №5

"It's complicated."

Fair. Then text someone who loved you right. We're not monsters over here.

CASE №6

"I just talked to her last month."

Last month? What are you, a seasonal newsletter?

CASE №7

"I'll see her at the holidays."

The holidays are a group event. A Tuesday call is a personal one. She knows the difference.

CASE №8

"It's too late at night."

Then send a text now and call tomorrow. Look at you, schedulin' love like a professional.

CASE №9

"She never picks up anyway."

Leave a voicemail, ya quitter. She replays those more than you'd believe.

CASE №10

"I don't want to bother her."

You are the opposite of a bother. You are the phone call she's been hopin' for all week.

You're out of excuses, ya mutha. Go do the one thing that actually fixes all this.